Onions
The onions were pulled from the garden about a month ago and laid out to dry on the bed of the wagon in the tractor shed. The shed is open at both ends, and the prevailing winds whip through there, making it a perfect place for this process. When the tops are brown and beginning to shrivel and the roots no longer rubbery and vital, the onions are ready to be gathered in and stored in a cool, dry, dark place.
Holding the round head of an onion in my left hand, I firmly grasp its neck in my right, then twist the bulb around and around in a counter-clockwise direction until it severs next to my right hand. With each severing I think, “Take that, Dick Cheney [George Bush, Karl Rove, Condoleezza Rice, Donald Rumsfeld, Ralph Reed, Pat Buchanan, Bill O’Reilly...]”
Soon there are two bags full of the heads of those self-serving liars and hypocrites, and I move on to the day’s next project: mucking out Heidi’s stall. There's way too much shit in this world.
Monday, October 16, 2006
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2 comments:
Hey, wait a minute - that's an unfair comparison! Onions have a wonderful smell, marvelous taste, and really add something useful and positive to this world. Only comparison I can see is that onions have their heads in the ground and the others have their heads up their ass. Let's hear it for the onions!!!
In Yiddish there is a saying that seems to fit nicely here; "Er zol vaksen vi a tsibbeleh, mit dem kop in drek!" (translates as "He should grow like an onion, with his head in shit.") Another handy term to use with the people in question is "ganef" (or goniff, if you like), meaning crook, thief, or swindler. I think it's so handy to know how to deal with idiots in more than one language; that way, there's never an awkward lapse in the conversation.
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