How can I make sense of the world when I can't even make sense of my own family?

Mother and Daughter Phone Conversation:

What are you doing June 18th?
I don’t know, let me check my calendar.
Betsy is coming.
Oh, that’s nice (assuming it’s the Aunt Betsy she always talks about).
Can you babysit?
Yes.
Are you going to the wedding?
What wedding???
July 22nd.
I thought we were talking about June and Betsy.
Jim has to go get her.
In Texas?? (realizing it’s a different Betsy)
No, Syracuse.
Is this conversation backwards?

Followed by Husband and Wife conversation:

I can’t find the vacuum cleaner. Where is the extension cord?
Which one?
The piece of crap one.
The short gray one?
No, the little one.
I don’t know what you’re talking about. We have several extension cords.
The vacuum cleaner.

Here kitty, kitty, kitty – I need to talk with someone...