POTUS, SCHMOTUS

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Thursday night when I should have been sleeping, the Night Demons were racing around in my head, leading me to thoughts too ridiculous for daytime pondering. Among them entered POTUS. 

The first time I saw that one, I was initially stumped, but after awhile (and noting the context), I realized that this is Internet-speak for “President Of The U.S.” Now I like the occasional LOL, OMG and WTF, but this POTUS thing irritated me, probably because I happen to respect our current president. It also annoyed me because I am a lover of language and words, and typing the fourteen letters that spell “President Obama” - which is only nine more than POTUS - does not seem like much to expect. Coincidentally, CBC News reported today that Winnepeg researchers have noted a link between shallowness of intellect and texting.http://ca.news.yahoo.com/frequent-texters-tend-shallow-researchers-005122700.html They say it is not clear whether texting causes shallowness or shallow people text a lot, but they have found that there is definitely a correlation.

The Night Demons had their way with me despite my efforts to settle my brain, inhale through my feet, place my aggravations on an imaginary paper boat and watch them float away down a stream, so I came up with some useful abbreviations of my own which I submit to you:

MOTUS - - Mavens Of The U.S.
IOTUS - - Intellectuals Of The U.S.
LOTUS - - Lefties Of The U.S.
TROTUS - - The Rest Of The U.S.
SCROTUM - - Student Council Retirees Of The University of Minnesota
NOTUS - - Nitwits Of The U.S., of which I must be one because I took the time to even think about this.

Although I tried, I could not think of an apt acronym for COITUS or ACIDOPHYLUS.